The good people in my life and social interactions

Today I met up with my high school classmates for lunch and dessert. It was really nice hanging out with them again. I regret not being closer friends with them. They are all really good people - funny, kind, gracious, courteous. I think I never really appreciate the good people in my life until it is too late. I am always blinded by my own annoyances to the small things. Things are always in retrospect. How long before I really learn my lesson?

Today was a day where I just enjoyed being with people I like. Laughing and listening to their silly stories. How are my friends so humorous? It is always fun with them.

I think I have become an awkward bean who isn’t as confident anymore, especially around old friends. I used to be quite confident about what I say and how I act. Now, I avoid eye contact when I am saying things. I am also constantly worried that what I say is not funny or does not carry “importance”. Or that no one is interested in what I say. But the truth is, the more I think people aren’t interested in what I say, the more I will act as if people aren’t interested. I am actually the one to first dismiss myself.

To reclaim confidence in social interactions, I need to be the one who takes myself seriously. I am the only one who can show the others how I want to be treated.